Fall-tering – Trusting Faith

“And Jesus said unto them, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.”  Matthew 17:20

Walking across the front room, I was body-slammed into the freshly-shampooed carpet – not my first fall.  Unexpected and unprotected falls are just one symptom of my neurological disorder.  Familiar fear congealed in my heart as I mentally inventoried my body for injury.  Memories of past falls haunt my sense of well-being, renewing doubt.  Living daily with the grim realities of my chronic illnesses, faith can crumble… a spiritual falling… defeated, empty, afraid, hurt, lonely.

Years of coping with chronic illness did not exempt me from the problems of everyday life: failures, disappointments, heartache, loneliness.   Life is full of unexpected, often disguised pitfalls.   When my personal life collapsed, my broken spirit fell.  Waves of pain slammed as I slowly sank into the dark waters of despair.  Hope was lost.

During one of the worst storms of my life, I stepped out of familiar security (alone) into turbulant water of uncertainty, grasping the hand of Jesus.  Living with physically-debilitating challenges, I learned I am never alone.  I have my Savior.  I yielded my broken life to the tender healing of God’s spirit.  I surrendered two years… my Psalms era.  In prostrate prayer, I sobbed years of submerged pain in a healing purge.   God whispered to my heart in the peaceful quiet of my healing place and through scripture.  Confusion unraveled as the dark fog of defeat lifted in the light of clarity, peace and joy… a new beginning.

Prone on the living room floor, the cable man extended his hand to help me up from my fall.  Concerned, he asked if I was alright.  I thought of Peter stepping out of the boat into the stormy sea, sinking in his fear and doubt.  With faith, Peter took the offered hand of Jesus,  calming the storm.  I know there will be more storms in my life.  I may falter or fall; but as long as I hold my loving Savior’s hand, I am safe in His comforting arms.

Faith… in spite of my odds… “with God, all things are possible.”

Dear Lord, life is so very hard sometimes.  Forgive me when my faith waivers.  Thank you for your loving patience, for healing my fractured spirit, for calming the storms in my life.  I love you.  Amen.”   

Copyright © 2012

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~ by Debbie Richardson on December 15, 2012.

2 Responses to “Fall-tering – Trusting Faith”

  1. Hi Debbie
    I am writing in your website to let the world know, I have missed your friendship. I did treasure you , the times we spent on the phone, and our meetings. I have been so very fortunate with my SPS. God is my answer, and a good neurologist who has made my life worth living.
    I know you did not understand my thoughts on your situation, because if it hadn’t been for my dear husband of 55yrs, I wouldn’t have regained my Faith in God. I hope you have forgiven me for what you believed to be wrong. God knows it was not. I am happy for you.
    God Bless You
    In Christ’s name- Myrna

    • Hi Myrna,

      No worries. Written communication is limited & easily misunderstood. It has not been the first or last time. 😉

      I am very happy for your renewed faith! It is so nice to hear from you. It is an uplift to hear of someone doing well with their SPS. Most of the people I have met or am close to on this journey with the syndrome have been a blessing to my life.

      I wish you continued health & everything good God has in store for you.

      In His love,

      Debbie

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